Friday, May 29, 2009

kindness is a weakness

Pure and simple. Anybody with the personality trait of being as kind as possible to others has a distinct weakness that they might not realize. People constantly say "don't mistake my kindness for a weakness" but it is. What caused you to actually have to say that statement? The fact that you realized that someone took advantage of that weakness. Yes you can change how you deal with the person afterwards, but it still happened. Your human weakness was exploited by someone you wouldn't have expected.

The interesting thing is, the people that end up taking advantage of your nice/generous/loyal/concerned/dependable nature is always someone that you wouldn't expect to do it. Of course that is as it should be, if you expect someone to take advantage of you, you would prevent it before it gets to that point. Instead, it's family, it's close friends, and it's significant others who are always the ones willing to see just how much they can benefit at you're expense. Consideration is not one of the easiest things for people to consistently have and when it comes down to you or them, they almost always pick them. You on the other hand also pick them because it's who you are as a person. The most selfless people are always the ones looking back and realizing that they shouldn't have done something

What happens when you confront someone on this usually? They either attempt to flip it in some sort of way or they apologize only to try to repeat the offense at a later time. Unfortunately, if you are the type that is usually being taken advantage of due to your overall kindness, it's not an easy trait to change. You might tell yourself it won't happen again, but lets be honest, it does. Sometimes it's by a brand new person, sometimes it's by the exact same one. Either way it's going to happen a few times, maybe a lot, before you start being more cautious as to how nice you are to certain people.

Kindness is a characteristic that most people have and it's part of being human. Problem is, it's one of the main reasons people look back and say to themselves "I was being really stupid" when thinking about a particular scenario. Unfortunately tho, it's tied to emotions. The more you care about a person, the more they can get over on you. Even when they do, you give them more and more chances because you truly love/care about them. Even when you are aware of it, you still let it happen because of who the person happens to be. I guess it's just something you have to try and be more aware of and learn from when dealing with certain people.


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Man Rules for the Ladies

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear
'the rules'
From the female side

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down..
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem
only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did
NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it
will be scratched..
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or FOOTBALL

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.
Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Monday, May 11, 2009

withholding sex

To the ladies that do this......STOP IT. That shit ain't cute. In a relationship, men tend to be more physical than women. Women tend to be more emotional then men. So while you want the cuddling, cute convos, and general closeness in proximity, most men enjoy the hands on aspect of the closeness. I'm not saying we don't like the cuddling and all but lets be real here. If you're gonna withhold the sex then you are basically taking away something major from the guy and you know it.

I'm not saying you can't withhold while you're upset. That's completely normal and to be expected. Even in the time frame when your still getting over it is still an acceptable time to not get in the sheets. The thing is, once you've forgiven and moved one, there's no reason to withhold sex. It's just being petty and spiteful at that time. There's no such thing as "teaching him a lesson". All it will do is cause more tension or force some guys to start noticing other women.

Lets be serious here though, how would you like it if a guy did the same thing to you? I'm not talking sex because I know some women, some, can go without it for awhile just fine. What if after you apologized for whatever you did wrong he decided to withhold cuddling, spending time together, cute talk etc, basically the things you love in the relationship? Would it be ok for a guy to completely pull back on the emotional side of the relationship for 2 weeks or so as a way to "teach you a lesson"? From where I stand that would cause more problems than it would solve, just like you holding back on the physical to teach a guy a lesson. Seriously think about how you would feel if a guy showed you no emotion for a week or two after an issue just because he wanted to because of the argument. Now tell me you would honestly be ok with him doing that...........don't worry.........I'll wait. You can't can you? Because that's an importan part of the relationship as far as you're concerned. Then don't do the same to guys. Again, I can understand when you're upset, and when you're still getting over whatever isksue too place, but when it's done after the issue is resolved as some sort of "I'm gonna make him learn" is when it's fucked up to do.

end rant

Friday, May 8, 2009

girls are cruddy

Notice I said girls and not women, I don't think a real woman would do this.

Anyway ladies, what is with the urge to hookup with ya homegirls man/sex buddy? One thing I've noticed, and took advantage of in my younger hoe days, is that if a female tells her female buddies about how good a guy is in bed, or in some cases in general, there is bound to be one female friend that tries to experience it for herself. Envy is a hell of a sin *said like rick james*. Dating my ex for as long as I did, I've had multiple chances to mess around with some of her friends and family members because she messed around and said to much. Yes I said family members.

Her cousin and I were never cool, merely cool by association. Suddenly she has my number and is calling me to say wassup (ex called me from her cousins phone). We go over there one day to play spades, knowing I'm coming also, she's walking around in lingerie. My ex had the key so she called when we were parking to let her know we were coming in. We get in there and she comes down the stairs in white boyshorts, matching bra, and a short see through rob, hence the fact I know all colors. My ex almost beat that girl down lol, I had to actually drag her out before the fight started. He cousin continued to act like she didn't see the problem since she was "covered up".

I'm sure a few people that read this, whether male of female, that have been through this at some point. Don't get it wrong, guys do this also, just not on the level that females do. For the record, it took a lot of willpower not to succumb to her advances, chick was bad, but city isn't a cheater ;)

Edit: Blog concept credited to The Houston Girl.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Sorry for the update delay (for those that care), I had a vacay, then came back with the bird flu, swine flu, sars, and mad cow disease so I been sick as hell. Ok, I didn't have any of those but I still been sick :)
On to the new post

I think their should be a written rule of boundaries when you and someone are "friends with benefits", so to speak. A friend of mine recently was asking me when was I gonna come around to meet her friends. This caught me off guard because I had no plans to ever meet her friends. I honestly don't care to meet them simply because I don't ever plan to be around them. To clarify a little, she and I are not friends by my definition. A friend is someone I hang out with because they are fun to be around. Someone who will be there for me in my time of need that won't constantly throw it in my face. She and I do not hang out for fun..........well we have fun but you get the point. I would not call her if I'm in a bind, ever, and we don't even really talk all that much. I don't really define her a a friend so why do I need to meet her friends?

Maybe I'm wrong on this but I assume that a relationship basically only based on sex would stay as that unless both parties choose to move it in another direction. Hell, even had she said something before hand it wouldn't have caught me so offguard. I'm thinking she is inching towards moving it a step forward but maybe doesn't know how to say it.